I’m happy you sent this ask, because it’s a perfect place to talk about how someone can get hurt, feel wronged, and become susceptible to extremist recruiting.
First off, treat this as a simple yes or no question, asked with zero surrounding context, the platonic idea of penis preference if you will. “I don’t find penises attractive” is not a sentiment that makes you a TERF. You’re okay not liking them. My nonbinary wife doesn’t particularly like them, yet they are married to me (who has one) and we love each other more than anything in the world.
In fact, in the abstract, I don’t like ‘em much either, and I own one! Ridiculous looking thing, wish I didn’t have to deal with it. A general dislike of genitals doesn’t make you a TERF… not by itself.
Now, here is where the critical thinking comes in, because if you posted something like that on Tumblr or something, it has a different context. You might not even know! It could be a totally innocent mistake, and it happens, and some women either get criticized in ways that makes them feel attacked, or actually attacked because you never know if what you post online is hitting someone on a bad day or a good day.
The context first of all is, without any clarifying statements, saying you don’t like a genital could imply you’re reducing anyone with that particular set of genitals down to their genitals only. And it could result in either someone telling you it sounds TERFy (if they’re trying to be gentle) or calling you a TERF (if they’re out of spoons) because that’s what TERFs do. Here’s where it becomes a recruit pitch.
You say “I don’t like penises.” This doesn’t mean you’re saying you dislike trans women (not all of whom have penises anyway), but if you get the above lecture/yelling, a radfem can come along and empathetically agree how unfair it is that someone made you hurt for saying you don’t like a genital, and it’s not fair to tell a lesbian she has to sleep with a male or she’s a TERF and- OH WAIT A MINUTE!
Hold up, it looks like they were just being nice but wait wait, they just slid cozily from “it’s okay not to like a penis” to “anyone with a penis is male.” See that? Like a sleight of hand, once you’ve agreed with that premises, saying “I don’t like penises” suddenly becomes attached to “and anyone with a penis is male.”
Alright now in context, going back this kind of equivalency is so common with radfems that at this point saying you don’t like a genital is what we call a dogwhistle. It’s a phrase which is seemingly innocent, and can be innocent, which has been so widely appropriated by a hate group that it carries extra connotations in a certain context. Contexts like posting on Tumblr, which happens to have a particularly large trans population.
Now you can’t know every single dogwhistle because that’s the whole reason they exist - so normal people don’t spot someone’s bigotry and it looks like a disenfranchised group is getting angry over an innocent statement.
And lastly, which you probably already know, but generally not being interested in something doesn’t have to equate to disliking anyone with that trait, or even not being attracted to someone with that trait. I bring this up because the difference between a lesbian who just generally doesn’t like genital and a TERF is that the TERF things anyone with a penis is automatically bad and a male and probably reading this right now thinks I’m saying you have to have sex with men or like penises, somehow, despite saying exactly the opposite.
You may have a general preference, but in practice I’m sure you’ve already found a difference between “I am physically attracted to how this person looks” and “Holy shit I am in love this person is amazing and everything about them is beautiful.” If you haven’t had that experience yet, I can promise you some day you will. Not necessarily over genitals, but some day someone will come into your life and you’ll love every part of them whether or not it’s something you normally find abstractly attractive.
Keep your heart open to love, keep your mind open to constructive criticism, and you’ll never be a radfem or TERF or SWERF or whatever. That’s all.
Because of this post as usual. 😘
This is such a beautifully written, gentle, educational post, and I am infinitely grateful to @cipheramnesia for taking the emotional energy to write this. Especially the part about how dog whistles, by their definition, are meant to slip by unnoticed.
Sometimes when I get a couple radfem notes on this I reblog it, and get a larger volume of kind notes. I take this as a sign that on balance the world is kind.
Tennessee’s vaccine skepticism under Republican Gov. Bill Lee continues to impact state policy.
The Tennessee Department of Health abruptly postponed a virtual vaccine summit intended to provide training to medical professionals across the state as the agency continues to dial back its vaccination outreach despite widespread condemnation,“ the Nashville Tennessean reports.
ActivePure: Hired former coronavirus response coordinator Deborah Birx as its chief medical and science advisor.
AF Capital: Garrett Marquis, a former National Security Council official, is now a member of the advisory council.
Alio: Added Eric Hargan, former deputy secretary of Health and Human Services, to its board of directors. He is also on the Tomorrow Health Advisory Board.
Amazon: Hired Katherine Kalutkiewicz, a former National Economic Council official, as its head of US trade policy.
Big Ass Fans: Hired former CDC Director Robert Redfield as a strategic health and safety advisor.
Blackstone: Hired Kristan Nevins, a former White House Cabinet secretary, as a managing director of government relations.
Cobham Advanced Electronic Solutions (CAES): Added former Defense Secretary Mark Esper to its board of directors.
Caliburn International: Added former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to its board of directors.
CityServe: Hired Lynn Johnson, former assistant secretary at the Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families, as its vice president for Children’s Initiatives.
Deloitte: Hired Timothy Frank, a former White House deputy director and senior advisor, as a consultant.
Deloitte Consulting: Hired Elaine Duke, former Department of Homeland Security deputy secretary and acting secretary, as a specialist executive.
D.R. Horton: Added former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson to its board of directors.
Exegis Capital: Mick Mulvaney, former White House Chief of Staff and Office of Management and Budget director, is a partner at the company he co-founded.
Flagship Pioneering: Hired former Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Stephen Hahn as its chief medical officer of its preemptive medicine and health security initiative.
Goldman Sachs: Former Deputy National Security Advisor for Strategy Dina Powell McCormick is now the global head of sustainability and inclusive growth. She returned to Goldman Sachs in 2018 as a partner in the Investment Banking Division.
IBM: Appointed Gary Cohn, former director of the National Economic Council, as vice chairman of IBM and member of the IBM executive leadership team.
Icahn Enterprises: Carl Icahn, who was a special advisor to the president on regulatory reform, is chair of Icahn Enterprises.
Ideagen: George Sifakis, former director of the White House Office of Public Liaison, is global chairman and chief executive officer of the company he founded.
Invariant: Hired Amy Swonger, former White House legislative affairs director, as principal.
Jazz Pharmaceuticals: Hired Virginia McMillin, former special assistant to the president for legislative affairs, as director of government relations and policy.
Kalera: Added former Department of Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue to its board of directors.
Krebs Stamos Group LLC: Chris Krebs, former director of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, is CEO of the company he co-founded.
KS Global Group: Keith Schiller, former director of Oval Office Operations, is the managing member.
Lockheed Martin: Hired Jarrod Agen, former director of communications to the vice president, as vice president of global media and digital communications.
MCNA Dental: Named former Energy Secretary Rick Perry as vice chairman of the board of directors for MCNA Insurance Company and chief strategy officer.
Natixis: Hired Joseph LaVorgna, former chief economist of the National Economic Council, as chief economist of the Americas.
Nokia: Hired Grace Koh, a former special assistant to the president, as vice president of legislative affairs.
Oracle: Hired Josh Pitcock, former chief of staff to former Vice President Mike Pence, as vice president of government affairs.
Rubrik Inc.: Added Suzette Kent, former U.S. Chief Information Officer, to its public sector advisory board.
Utility Strategic Advisors: Hired John DeStefano, former counselor to the president, as principal.
Veeam Government Solutions: Hired Earl Matthews, former senior director for defense policy and strategy on the National Security Council, as president.
Question: How do you explain the connections between the Big Lie, Q-Anon and conspiracy theories more generally?
Answer: Noted psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton developed the concept of “malignant normality.“ This explains how a malignantly narcissistic leader can change the reality of the society so that people actually believe the Big Lie or other propaganda. It becomes the new conventional wisdom.
Right-wing authoritarians are fundamentally paranoid. Their paranoia functions such that everything that is "bad” is projected outward. It is like a mirror reality for them. Using the Republican Party as an example, they use projection to gaslight: "Whatever I am doing, I will accuse you of doing.“ Joseph Goebbels said much the same thing: "Accuse them of whatever you’re doing.”
For the psychopaths at the top who are perpetrating these things, it is not an unconscious psychological process. Instead, it is an intentional strategy. The people who are vulnerable to such a tactic exist in a social context where they live in a bubble of information. They also have personalities ready to believe any paranoid conspiracy theory. It’s fundamental to their personality to believe that other bad people are doing crazy things that need to be defended against, and there’s really no limit to what those bad people could be doing or what theories you could have about them — especially if you and your group are doing some of those bad things.
“While many people think fanfiction is about inserting sex into texts (like Tolkien’s) where it doesn’t belong, Brancher sees it differently: “I was desperate to read about sex that included great friendship; I was repurposing Tolkien’s text in order to do that. It wasn’t that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be … friendship-ized.” Many fanfiction writers write about sex in conjunction with beloved texts and characters not because they think those texts are incomplete, but because they’re looking for stories where sex is profound and meaningful. This is part of what makes fan fiction different from pornography: unlike pornography, fanfic features characters we already care deeply about, and who tend to already have long-standing and complex relationships with each other. It’s a genre of sexual subjectification: the very opposite of objectification. It’s benefits with friendship.”
(Why does this belong on my decidedly not-fan-fiction-related blog, you ask? Because this quote illustrates very well how assuming that anything where people put sex in it is debasing it, objectifying it, or simply ‘sexualizing’ it, etc. often misses a lot of the real picture of why people do that thing.)
